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Pissing In The Wind: An Autobiographia
Benjamin Alldridge, Esq. is the name I’ve chosen to go by. Admittedly, in the real world the “Esq.” at the end has meant nothing thanks to there no longer being a gentry, but I figure it makes me look slightly more important than I actually am. Pleasantries aside, I’m quite simply a 20 year old guy (21.18 if we’re getting precise) hailing from what is for all intents and purposes the “ghetto” of Brisbane, in Australia. I’m just your average whiteboy looking for his chance to change the world, or at least make it ’til tomorrow.
Nothing too special really… or is it? You be the judge. Let’s read on.
Now the fun really starts. My life has been a bit of a strange one, I must admit. I started out life as a sperm, merely a twinkle in my father’s eye in the wonderful year of 1986. Skip forward to what one can only assume is 9 months later, and out I came. In quite a rush. I guess I hated the womb. I was appropriately given the name, “Flyboy McSuperfly, Esq.”, however, the registrar refused to honour it as it was not a name which was kosher with.. well, reality. So, Benjamin it became.
I can’t really remember a whole lot from growing up… my memory is kind of shady thanks to some wonderful transgressions during my early and mid teenage years. What I do remember of it though, I was never really a very popular kid. All of the other children never seemed to be able to welcome me into their circles. I can’t ever imagine why not…
I’ve lead a pretty incredible life really. I’ve seen things a large portion of people will only ever dream of, I’ve seen things no-one should ever see, and I’ve seen immense beauty that everyone should see. I’ve done things I’m both proud of and ashamed of, and I’ve seen my fair share of hardship. I’ve definitely calmed down in recent times though. Kind of boring now.
- I actually figure-skated for a while, pretty well too. I only stopped due to a pretty serious knee injury that made it near-impossible to walk for almost a year. I regret that, I love being on the ice. The reason I started is kind-of embarrassing, though, but leta€™s not get into that one..
- I have spent 10 years of my life with some kind of affiliation to Scouting. Be it volunteering, actually as a member, or through family, ita€™s always seemed to play some kind of role. Additionally to that, I was one of 20 people to partake in the very first 4WD expedition across the Simpson Desert and around Central Australia ever undertaken by a Scout group. That was one experience I adore, despite of all that happened.
- I don’t actually have a favourite colour. My mind is far too dynamic to have one of those. That said, I do have colours that I tend to find myself using/abusing, mostly very high brightness and vivid hues.
- I’m a strong advocate of web standards, and will do my very best to code to them where it is actually possible. I do whatever I can where I can to make things validate flawlessly to modern standards (XHTML1.0 and CSS2.1 [and a touch of CSS3 for those browsers that behave nicely]) and display properly across a wide range of browsers. Right now I test on modern Windows, Macintosh OS X, and Linux in the widest range of circumstances I can.
- I’m one of the only people in my entire family to not like Seafood. At all.
- I’m a massive geek/nerd, and always have been. I enjoy doing things like writing code and working through complex scientific problems, as well as all manner of physics (I never actually did Physics at school; it clashed with my Music timetable) and even occasionally games.
- Speaking of games, I think gaming reached its peak the at the height of the 8-bit era, nothing can compare to NES goodness.
- I currently own 4 computers of my own (that are together), all of which I work on frequently, be it physically or remotely.
- At one point in time, I used to breakdance.
- I’d much prefer to put myself in hospital than to have to see a friend sad.
I’ve never owned a fish.That’s a blatant lie, I’ve been keeping fish as a hobby for the last 13 or so months now. In the next little while I’m planning to set up a 70 US Gallon mixed reef with various smaller reef fish and invertebrates. It’s one of my very greatest loves these days.- I’ve always been envied for what’s on my computers, rather than the computers themselves.
- I love wearing suits. Suits are, to me, the single greatest piece of clothing ever invented. Plus, they’re comfy as hell, and go nicely with white shoes.
- I could live without sex forever if I just had someone to cuddle close for the rest of my days. Seriously, cuddling is probably my favourite passtime.
I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.I was acquitted of all charges. Apparently it was my good buddy Jimmy who shot him.
Additionally to being at least remotely worldly, I’ve got quite a multitude of interests. The kind of which would make your brain hurt, actually. At the simplest, I’ll make a lovely little list to explain a bit better.
- Cuddles
- Amateur aquarium keeping
- Chemistry
- Physics
- Music
- Art
- Philosophy
- Programming
- Photography
- Electronics
- Modern History
- Everything else
The top one’s the most important by far. Affection is my life.
My take on life is pretty simple. My life hasn’t been the easiest, but I still tend to follow the philosophy that although something bad has happened, it’s just another proverbial Lego that builds who I am as a person. If someone can look at me, and say something complimentary despite, then a bad experience has been in a round-about way, worth it. Additionally to that, I know I’m going to someday do something somewhere that makes people turn around and take notice. I know this. I’ve got too much passion for it to not be so.
Additionally, while I’m not a religious man in any way, shape, or form (I subscribe to the ideals of Agnosticism, and to some extent, Nihilism), I do believe in the statement, “let he without sin cast the first stone”. If you’re an idiot, I’m not the one to pass that judgment in any way beyond how I perceive you in my head. However, if you are genuinely a prick or say something morally incorrect or based on ill-gotten “fact”, I will not hesitate to give you a very verbose reason why you are wrong in your opinion. I say things from time to time that people do find incredibly offensive, I know this well enough. But at the end of the day, anything I say is a personal opinion; nothing more. You’ve got your own and consider yourself entitled to them, why am I any different or any less worthy of the same primal instinct?
Oh the songs Jim, they’d melt your face. There’s quite a lot of them, too. Here’s a small sampling of what I enjoy regularly:
All time: Whitlams, Duran Duran, The Beatles, Pink Floyd, Pearl Jam, Dave Matthews Band, Miles Davis, The Avalanches, David Bowie, Faith No More, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Fleetwood Mac, Smashing Pumpkins, Primus, Jimi Hendrix, Jeff Buckley, Modest Mouse, Aphex Twin, Tears for Fears, Don Henley, Frankie Goes To Hollywood, Alan Parsons Project, John Coltrane, Brian Eno, Queen, The Living End, Johnny Cash, Electric Light Orchestra, Tom Petty, Afrika Bambaataa and The Soulsonic Force, Grandmaster Flash and The Furious Five, Genesis, Phil Collins, Peter Gabriel, Oasis, Frank Sinatra, Ella Fitzgerald, Ben Folds [Five], Aphex Twin, Skunkhour, The Living End, Pulp, The Doors, The White Stripes, Sublime, Less Than Jake, Jimmy Eat World, INXS, Stranglers, Beck, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Frenzal Rhomb, Santana.
Seasonals: Eels, Sufjan Stevens, Rush, Lauryn Hill, Fugees, Distillers, Alice In Chains, (hed) pe, Millencolin, Neutral Milk Hotel, Colonel Claypool’s Bucket of Bernie Brains, Colonel Les Claypool’s Fearless Flying Frog Brigade, Scorpions, Bad Religion, Pennywise, Kansas, Bjork.
Here’s a wonderful piece of irony for you: I’m an award-winning artist, yet, I absolutely despise the majority of art throughout history. I’m one of those that prefers message over aesthetics, if you can successfully portray a message that actually means something then to me you’ve achieved something the majority of artists throughout history never have.
My list of favourites is quite spanerse. Growing up as an aerosol artist (I spent probably 4 and a half years on the streets doing it less than legally) I’ve accumulated an almost childish love for aerosol art and street art, particularly a lot of what is produced both right here in Brisbane, and more globally in Europe (primarily Germany). I’ve always had a soft spot for typography, graffiti takes that addiction a step further for me. My favourites from that realm are guys like BANKSY and SEEN, as well as guys like LOOMIT and TOAST who push the limits of what can be achieved through the media of aerosol. In terms of “real” artists I don’t have a lot, however, the majority of my friends produce work I’d rank amongst my favourites out of any.
Think from outside the box. Collapse the box and take a fucking sharp knife to it.
- From http://banksy.co.uk
Okay, so this website is one of a few I own (but really the only one I actually maintain, I’m working on the others), and basically, everything goes here. Why? Why not? I paid to get my hosting, so I figure I may as well use it to some extent. Basically, this site serves as my bitchblog, anything I don’t like goes here. Yippie for you! this is the home for my innermost thoughts and musings, and the dedicated home for me to say what I need to say in a free and open environment.
You get the privilege of being able to read it in a number of different formats, too. Firstly, we’ve got the stock-standard website format; next up we have a wonderful technology called XML (or “feeds” for those who’re savvy), and coming soon, Tabloid! .. Okay, so no tabloid. Who the hell would actually pay to read my stupidity? [Please note, anyone willing to pay feel free to email me to discuss it...]
As for the hosting side of things, Lunarpages take very good care of me, and have done so over the last 12 months since I migrated across to their service. They keep this place going solid which I appreciate. As for registrations, mydomain has treated me pretty kindly. Both are excellent services and I highly recommend them to anyone looking for good paid hosting.
I use a lot of stuff. A really big lot. One of the most important things is my PC, “ASGARD”, which serves as the backbone for the majority of my work these days. In recent times my work has been primarily simple vectors, however I do occasionally venture into other things like photomanipulation (I’m a trained photo retooler, heh), and if the mood strikes me, music. The mood has to hit me just right though.
Outside of the PC, I’m addicted to spraypaints and canvas. It’s an insanely expensive habit (the paint I use runs for about $AU12.00 a can), but when I can paint it is some of the happiest moments I get. I’ve won awards and been to internationally-recognised art exhibitions with my aerosol work before, however, beyond that a lot of it never gets seen. It’s kind of personal I guess.
I also shoot photos occasionally. My main camera of recent times has been my Nokia 6280’s inbuilt 2 megapixel camera, however, when I want to shoot properly I use my Canon EOS Rebel SII (with 35-105mm f4.5-f5.6 Canon AF lense sporting UV[0], Skylights B, and Polariser filters) and generally ISO200 Fujicolour films. I’m a staunch supporter of film photography, and adhere to the logic that digital is a primarily souless art. I’m living in the ’70s. Right now, the most important tool for me has been my trusty Canon EOS 20D which I bought specifically for my Chicago holiday, as well as a pair of CompactFlash cards (an 8GB Samsung 150X, and a 4GB SanDisk Ultra II) and a multitude of lenses (Canon EF f/1.8 50mm II, Sigma f/2.8 24mm Superwide II Macro, Canon EF f/3.5-5.6 28-80mm USM IV, and a Canon EF f/4.5-5.6 35-105mm II) and a BG-02 battery grip. Secondary to that, I’ve got a Canon EOS Elan 7ne with BP-500 battery grip, and my old body (the EOS Rebel SII) for when I need a solid analogue body with the simplicity of point-and-shoot. My Nokia N73’s 3.2mp Carl Zeiss smartphone also comes in handy from time to time, especially when taking photographs.
You can find me all over the internet. I swear, I’m like a rash on it. Wonderful places such as last.fm last.fm and deviantART have been fondled quite heavily by my keys, as well as the lovely net-havens known as livejournal and myspace. And more recently, arefuge. Hell, I’m even known to hang around on things like AIM and MSN Messenger, and when the mood takes, deviantART’s IRC server (in #devart and #pineapple, mostly). Basically, you can get me most of the time, even if it means shooting me an email from my site itself.
But you didn’t want to know that, did you? I bet you just came for the boobs, you Goddamn pervert.
Oh, and by the way, here’s some other useful stuff you may want to look into:
AOL Instant Messenger newklear2k
MSN Messenger newklear2k at hotmail dot com
Yahoo! Instant Messenger newklear2k
ICQ 335855962
Skype newklear2k