Outlaw Man
It’s a strange feeling – one of polar discord – to have a sort of sense of relief, but at the time, to have a sense of loss becoming essentially confirmed. To have a feeling of reprieve but tinged with ever-lingering melancholy. I guess one can only expect it though, going from everything to nothing so swiftly and then maintaining that nothing for so long, always looking in and hoping for an opportunity for introspective or the ability to intervene. Never knowing when the moment is to come, if at all – always hoping but mostly just wondering if you’re secretly marked for failure. I guess today sort of confirmed what I already knew, let me knew that the boundary was a very real and ever-present one, but at the same time gave me a feeling I’ve not had for a long time. Civility. Discourse. A feeling of almost being cared for. Fleeting, yes, but still, existing. I guess we’ll see if the feeling lasts. See if it was just a one-off, or if it holds water. Only time will tell.
C’est la vie.
